Welcome To The Real New York

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Visiting New York City has always been a dream of mine. I’ve always thought of it as a glamorous metropolis  filled with chic cosmopolitan movers and shakers who sip martinis at 1Oak on Saturdays and brunch on Sundays at The Plaza. A city with residents who work hard during the week and weekend in the Hamptons. New York always seemed like a city where anything could happen.  I mean Taylor Swift wrote a whole song about it. It’s the city where Carrie Bradshaw found shoes and love, Blair and Serena ruled, and Audrey Hepburn ate breakfast.

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Well a couple weeks ago I got the chance to make my dream come true. l visited New York with my family for the first time. But sadly New York did not live up to my dream. Don’t get me wrong I had an amazing time but New York but it wasn’t quite exactly how Taylor described. Instead of being overwhelmed with wonder and the sense of astonishing possibility I was overwhelmed by the stench garbage and immense foot pain.
1. New York is Very Crowded

So I know everyone says that New York is crowded but you never realize how crowded it is until you’ve been there. I live just outside of Toronto so I’m used to crowds but damn New York is on a whole new level of crowded. It may make be sound like a hypocrite considering I was a tourist but why are there so many people in New York. WHY?!!

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2. And Smells 

So the big difference between Toronto and New York is mainly the stench of the city. For some reason New York just smells funny. It’s not like the whole city smells all the time. Just every now and then, walking down the street you get a waft of something that just makes your eyes tear up. Sometimes it’s the stench of urine, sometimes it’s the hundred of garbage bags they leave by the curb every night. I don’t know. But I would really like to Febreeze all of Manhattan.

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3. There’s a Whole Lot of Walking

When visiting New York be prepared to walk; a lot. The majority of sights are relatively close together so walking makes the most sense. Sure you can always venture down in the subway, hail a bright yellow taxi, or even uber but why waste your time with that when you can just walk. it’s good cardio right.

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4. Your Feet Will Hurt

Unfortunately the only downside to walking is that your feet are going to kill. Never in my 24 years on this planet have my feet hurt so bad. We pretty much walked everywhere and with every step I took it felt like a dagger stabbing me soles. I don’t know how New Yorkers not die from foot pain.

5. No One Obeys Street Signs

It must be a New Yorker thing but nobody listens to traffic signs. Maybe because I grew up in the suburbs so I inherently wait for the bright white man to let me know when to cross the street. But New Yorkers just cross whenever they feel like it. One thing I learned from my four days in New York is how to properly jay walk.

6. The City Really Never Sleeps

Now I must say I thought the whole “city that never sleeps” thing was just clever advertising used to attract tourists, but New York really never sleeps. One night we went out clubbing, and while most Toronto clubs close around 2:30 am this particular club stayed open till 4 in the morning. Even when we left around 1:30 the club was still live. But out night didn’t end there. We headed to Times Square which was still as busy as ever. There really is always something to do in New York, now matter what the time is.

7. The Subway Is Very Confusing

Okay so this may be my biggest pet peeve with the city. Can someone explain why the subway is so confusing. I appreciate how vast the subway system is, allowing people to travel to all five burrows. But there’s just so many lines and some many trains travelling through the same stations. And why isn’t there someone at the station helping people? And I know this just sounds like me bitching but y’all really need to add some air conditioning on the tracks. I was literally shvitzing.

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8. Cockroaches Are Real. 

Yes that is right New York cockroaches are real and they are huge. I saw at least three cockroaches roaming the streets each the size of rock. Can you imagine walking down the street and seeing one of those little fuckers. Nope. Hey cockroaches I don’t fuck with you.

9. The City is filled with Amazing Food

So it’s true what people say. New York does have some pretty amazing food. One of the main reasons why I wanted to go to New York was all the delicious food I would ingest. I’ve heard wondrous tales of the delicacies in New York. From waffles and cupcakes to shawarma and pizza the city really has everything. The highlight of my trip has to be Shake Shack. It truly is a life changing experience. As I write this I am dreaming about the soft bun, juicy meat, and creamy secret sauce. Also there is $1 pizza all around the city.  God Bless New York!

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Now don’t get me wrong, this whole post may seem like I’m bashing New York but I’m not. I still had an amazing time. I got to visit all the amazing sights from all my favorite movies and TV shows. Like Breakfast at Tiffany’s, eating on the steps of the Met, strolling through the mall or sitting by the Bethesda fountain in Central Park, twirling through the lobby of the Plaza. So it wasn’t the life-changing New York trip I imagined, I still got all my selfies with all of New York’s wonders. Who knows, my Gossip Girl dream of New York City can still come true.

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